No one remembers now, but she, the only one in the world, recalls a scene from that time. She looks back on the brilliant memories she cherishes more than anything else.
What was she living for?
How long would she have to continue like this?
Why was she even born into this world?
She didn’t know the answer to any of these questions.
If she had to give an answer, it would be simple: there was no reason. She had no purpose in her life, no will, no hope—because it all felt pointless. She realized that her life was insignificant, that she would live and die as a tool. She understood that the same happiness given to others would never be granted to her.
Before she knew it, she had grown used to being treated as a tool by those around her. It was all that was ever offered to her. Along the long journey of life, she quickly understood that happiness was a reward she would never receive.
That is, until the day she met him, as if by fate.
From that moment on, the fate surrounding her shifted. That day, she stopped being a machine that hid her humanity. More precisely, the boy led her to that realization.
“Hey, let’s talk about it. Will we meet again next time? No, can we really meet?”
“Well, what’s so difficult about meeting? If we want to, we can meet anytime.”
She learned how to make promises to meet someone.
“…Yeah, I know. But still…”
“Oh, is it because the adults will notice? Don’t worry about that. What matters most is your heart. Why are you so concerned about others’ opinions?”
That’s how she learned to care for herself and love herself.
“It was fun. Honestly, spending time with you wasn’t so bad. What do you think?”
“…It was good. I’ve never talked or played like this with someone before. Everything was good!”
She learned how to be happy with someone.
She didn’t tell him, but she was really, truly happy. So happy, in fact, that she worried whether someone like her deserved such joy.
Even after that, she and he met a few more times. With each encounter, memories piled up, and the treasures she held in her heart grew more numerous. They were small and insignificant to others, but to her, they were moments so precious they seared themselves into her soul.
And during their last meeting, the boy and girl shared a promise. They hooked their little fingers tightly together and made a firm vow. It was a promise made because they were both immature and childish, a promise that meant more to her than anything else in the world—a promise she had to keep.
So, she waited. She waited, waited, and waited again.
But that promise was forgotten. The price of endless waiting came back to her as bitter regret.
Eventually, the girl sighed. If he had remained the boy she first met, if he had remembered their promise, he wouldn’t have left her alone like this, drowning in sorrow.
What had gone wrong?
She was the first, wasn’t she?
She had been the first to meet him, the first to spend time with him, the first to make a promise with him, the first to imagine a future with him. Surely, she was the one most worthy of standing by his side.
So why had he abandoned her, the first one, and chosen another woman?
It was all so dull now. Everything had become tiresome. The obstacles standing between her and him made her skin crawl. Sometimes, she thought she might have been happier without all of it weighing her down.
And then, a devilish idea came to her mind.
What if—just what if—he only saw her, just like when they first met?
What if he forgot everything in the world and only remembered her?
What if she were the only one by his side, and he couldn’t remember anything else?
Would he still reject her?
Or, wouldn’t he finally love her then?
***
“…I’m late,” Iris muttered in a low, gloomy voice as she stood in a desolate clearing far from the Castana estate. She had hurried as fast as she could, but dealing with the Stymphalos and Oried that Bianca del Castana had unleashed had delayed her.
The cost of recreating such advanced swordsmanship with her current body was nothing short of horrendous. She hadn’t used her full power—she had suppressed it as much as possible—but the strain of wielding the Celestial Sword had knocked Iris unconscious for more than an entire day.
The result was this. By the time she opened her eyes, it was already too late. She had missed Cain and Bianca del Castana’s engagement ceremony, and she hadn’t witnessed Cain’s remarkable performance.
And when Cain and Bianca disappeared from this place without a trace, Iris had been powerless to stop them.
“…..”
Iris frowned as she gazed at the enormous crater that lay in the middle of the clearing.
The diameter likely exceeded 100 meters, and even at its shallowest, the crater appeared to be at least 10 meters deep.
Things are Not Looking Good:
Yes, things are not looking good. As you know, translation requires a lot of time and energy. I translate, edit and proofread the chapters on my own. I will be honest here, I started translating as a hobby, then it evolved to a hope of earning a living by doing something I enjoy.
However, I suffered a chain of misfortunes during and after the pandemic, and earnings from FSM and RTV helped me a lot. It became a significant part of my life. As long as my monthly income bordered around $200, I could make the time to translate in the middle of other works. Then RTV ended, and the earning decreased. Now, it has decreased to around $90-$100. And with PETTV nearing completion, that would decrease even more. A*dsence gets me about $ 0.50 per day, and you can’t get the payment until it reaches $100, so I can’t depend on that either.
It wouldn’t be an issue in normal circumstances, but it matters a lot to me since I am still dealing with a lot of financial troubles. I am currently looking for a job, and will have to invest my time and energy in it once I get it.
Long story short, if you enjoy reading this novel, support the translation if you can, either by becoming a Patron in Patreon, or sponsoring chapters at BuymeaCoffee. You can also take some time to watch a*ds to increase the revenue on A*dsence. Grains of sand together can form a desert.
FSM supporters has been supporting me from the start no matter what, so I would continue to translate FSM as long as I am alive. But for the other projects, I now desperately need your support so that I can spend the time and energy to serve them to you all. That’s all. Thank you.