“Hup!”
“Haah!”
The minions suddenly start doing push-ups in perfect form.
“Take him away, I said! What are you doing?”
“Sorry! My body’s moving on its own!”
“What?”
The masked knight tries to move but panics as something blocks him.
“Is this your doing, you b*stard!”
Good instincts.
“Goddess, how about introducing yourself first?”
“Do you want to disappear from here right now? If I decide to… My name’s Beleira. 4th-rank Goddess. I like collecting shells, and my specialties are fire magic and dimensional magic… huh?”
The goddess reveals her confusion openly.
Why am I saying these things? She looks utterly baffled, unable to comprehend it.
Might as well put up a safety measure first.
“All acts of aggression toward me are strictly forbidden.”
“Urk…!!”
Beleira seems to feel something.
“What did you do to me?”
“Just a little prank.”
“You insolent fool! She’s not someone you can casually chat with. Step back right now!”
“Can’t you read the situation? Beleira, stand up.”
I say this while looking at the goddess.
“Ah, urk…!”
The goddess, who had been sitting with elegant poise, rises from her chair at my words.
“Lady Beleira!?”
The knight shouts in alarm, though he’s probably even more flustered himself.
“I don’t know. I can’t defy this human’s words. Not even a little…”
“From now on, I’m your god.”
“…!”
Taking it as an insult, the goddess glares at me with murderous intent.
If looks could burn, I’d have been incinerated long ago.
She might actually be trying.
But with the safety measure in place, Beleira can’t harm me.
“Thanks to your rudeness, I’m in a pretty foul mood right now. How about some time for reflection?”
“What…?”
“In our world, discipline sometimes involves corporal punishment. No need to tense up. Beleira, do a hundred squats.”
“S-squats?”
Oh, she might not know the term.
I’d assumed she’d be well-versed in human culture since we’re conversing so naturally, but it seems there’s some individual variation.
I roll up my sleeves for no reason and casually demonstrate.
“Spread your legs shoulder-width apart, arms forward. It’s the motion of lowering your h!ps like this. Down and up counts as one.”
“…”
“…”
Both of them are at a loss for words at my bizarre antics.
“Got it? A hundred squats. Start.”
“Ah…!?”
Beleira begins squatting as I showed her.
“Focus on your glutes.”
“S-stop it! Right now!”
“Stop what? You’re the one doing it.”
Every time Beleira’s h!p curves are emphasized, the fabric of her slit dress flutters, teasingly hinting at revealing her pr!vate areas.
“Urk! Ughh!”
She struggles with all her might to resist my command, but it’s futile.
I’ve tested this multiple times already—it’s verified. The best resistance she can muster is a grimace.
“Even if it’s tough, you’ve got to smile. Smile prettily while you’re being punished.”
Beleira loses even the freedom to scowl and continues squatting with a forced, beaming smile.
Meanwhile, the knight, determined to protect Beleira, slams himself against an invisible wall, shouting.
“Lady Beleira, I’ll save you right now! Hup! Hrrk!”
I sit down on the chair Beleira had been using and leisurely watch her h!ps.
Doing so gradually calms my anger.
If I can’t return to my original world, I’ll just go to a new one. But I’m not about to end up in some hopeless place.
I’ll use this goddess to get to a good one—a place with a decent level of civilization and plenty of pretty women.
“Make this ridiculous nonsense stop right now.”
Her voice is noticeably softer than before.
“Ridiculous? This is great exercise. How does it feel to get healthier?”
I give her butt a playful smack from behind.
The knight practically screams and thrashes in response.
“Once I get out of here, I’ll tear you apart and kill you!”
“…”
I look at Beleira and sink into thought.
“Now that I think about it, something feels lacking.”
What’s missing? I stand up and walk in front of Beleira.
“Ah! Put your hands behind your neck and expose your armpits.”
“~~~~!”
Beleira lets out a silent scream as she reveals her armpits.
They’re clean. Do goddesses shave, or do they just not grow hair there naturally?
“Lower your h!ps deeper.”
I drag the chair over and sit in front of her.
By now, Beleira’s cheeks are flushed red with humiliation.
The fabric of her slit dress sways, exposing her glutes. The deeper parts remain tantalizingly hidden, which only adds to the appeal.
Her breathing grows faintly erratic.
It’s the result of her desperate struggle to resist my commands.
Nothing changes. Beleira can only stop after completing exactly the hundred squats I ordered.
“What do you want?”
Her eyes still burn with hatred, but her voice carries a hint of resignation.
“I want to choose the world I go to myself. I’d like you to help me with the details.”
“No god would ever choose someone like you as their agent! You’ll be annihilated right—”
“Beleira. Sit on my lap.”
Beleira walks over as gracefully as a cat and sits on my lap.
Of course, entirely against her will.
I hold her in my arms and knead her h!ps.
“Didn’t catch that. Want to say it again?”
“I don’t want to talk. You’re just going to make me do something more humiliating.”
“Answer my questions truthfully.”
This keyword is simple but powerful. When I ask something, Beleira has to speak the deepest truths in her heart.
She bites her lip.
“What’s this ‘more humiliating’ thing you’re imagining?”
I slide my hand in and touch her mounds. It reminds me of the last mounds I touched before dying.
In terms of skin texture, the goddess wins by a landslide. It’s unbelievably soft.
“I don’t know.”
Beleira’s eyes hurl curses at me.
“I just had a fun idea.”
I lift her slit dress up to her wa!st and str0ke her glutes with my hand.
Wait a sec—my hand looks blurry? Now that I notice, my body’s half-transparent.
“Beleira, what’s going on?”
“A soul is unstable, so the more you talk or move, the shorter your time here becomes.”
“What? So I can’t have s9x as a soul?!”
“…N-no, you can’t! And I don’t want to either!”
Unbelievable. At this rate, I’ll vanish before I can even finish.
“How much time’s left?”
I need to hurry.
Beleira answers with a look that says she really doesn’t want to.
“From what I can tell, about an hour. It might shrink more if you move.”
Since she has to answer my questions truthfully, there’s no lie here.
I’d better prepare to head to another world fast.
“Regretting it now won’t help. For insulting a goddess, you’ll suffer the worst torment and fade away.”
So that’s why the knight’s been quiet—he knew my fate all along.
Unable to move an inch no matter how much he struggles, he’s resorted to cursing me instead.
“What exactly have you been watching this whole time?”
I’ve got a goddess on my side.
“Please, Beleira.”
“Who’d listen to a request from you? Not a chance. Just disappear already!”
I snap my fingers.