“Cecil would you forget me when I die?”
‘If gold was melted down, and carefully crafted each strand, would it still shine that coolly?’ Cecil marveled as she gazed at her boyfriend’s short but striking blonde hair.
“Hey, are you listening?”
If there was one thing to add, she thought it would look even better if he grew it longer and tied it neatly, like a nobleman.
“Aren’t you listening? Did I say something wrong?”
Cecil frowned and slapped her lips together sternly.
“Why are you saying such foolish things? Do you want to die at my hands first?”
When she began tickling his side, Julius couldn’t contain his laughter and twisted his body. Tears filled his eyes as he squirmed, and when Cecil let her guard down for a moment, he seized the opportunity and fought back.
The two rolled across the bed in awkward, tangled positions.
“So? Why are you suddenly saying that?” Cecil asked, looking down at him with an uncharacteristically serious expression.
Julius lowered his gaze, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
“The work I do is dangerous, and things happen… Sometimes, I think I might not live long enough to make a name for myself.”
“What’s gotten into you? The greatest heretic inquisitor of Lyriam, saying such weak things?”
Cecil playfully poked his chest and slowly trailed her fingers downward. Seeing this unexpectedly seductive side of her made Julius blush.
“I’m just saying that’s what’s on my mind. So? Just answer me.”
“Why would you die? See! There’s incredible strength in your heart. But… if you did die, I’d probably forget you.”
“Yeah, I see.”
Julius pouted. His crestfallen look made Cecil want to laugh.
How could someone look so adorable?
“…I would forget my love for you,” she whispered, her pink lips brushing lightly against his nose. “But in its place, I’d develop love for the *you* who’s gone.”
Julius felt his mind go hazy under the spell of her breath.
‘If this goes on, Uncle Erman will bury me alive!’
In a flash, Julius hugged Cecil tight, then sprang up and tossed her onto the sofa, making a hasty escape.
All Cecil could do, powerless in the manipulation of divine abilities, was hurl pillows at his retreating figure.
Julius barely escaped the web of the queen spider.
‘Tch!’ she thought. ‘You always act brave, but when things get serious, you run like a little girl.’
‘Next time, I’ll make sure he doesn’t get away.’
A sigh escaped her lips. After Julius left, the quiet house was filled only with his lingering scent. She lay back on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling.
Julius feared death, but with the power he wielded, death wouldn’t touch him. If anyone were to die first, it would be her.
Cecil lifted her arms, gazing at her delicate skin, so pale that even the veins beneath were visible. She clenched and unclenched her fists, murmuring softly to herself.
“If I die first, forget me and live happily. It would be best for Julius to be happy.”
Cecil truly believed she meant those words—until the moment she realized they were a lie.
Until the moment she took her last breath…
***
Julius stood frozen for a moment, staring at Cecil, who suddenly trembled and broke out in a cold sweat.
Without a second thought, he scooped her up like a princess, kicked open the door, and carried her inside the mansion.
He made his way to her room, which was open at the time, and gently laid her on the bed.
By the time he placed her down, her expression had calmed, but her eyes were dark as the night sky without a single star.
Julius reached for a blanket to cover her, but paused when he felt the weak grip of her hand.
She clutched her own hand feebly, and Julius couldn’t bring himself to move, standing as still as a statue.
“Honey…”
“… ….”
“Just stay by my side today.”
“….”
Without answering, Julius slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. Even if she were nothing more than a devil’s imitation, he couldn’t refuse Cecil’s request.
“Julius, I’m a terrible woman.”
“…You’re not.”
“I should tell you to walk away from temptation, to forget me, and to live happily.”
“….”
“But I can’t do that.”
Julius lowered his head, closing his eyes.
She smiled sadly, seeing his struggle against the temptation to stay. Yet, the sight of him resisting made her heart ache.
“Look at me as I am now,” she whispered. “Love the person I am now, not the person I was—the one who selfishly left first.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
The response was not what she wanted to hear. In fact, it was the worst thing imaginable.
Had Cecil heard these words in the past, she might have smiled with twisted satisfaction, even if it brought guilt.
But now, she couldn’t believe how tangled she was in her own emotions.
She chuckled softly, the sound almost inaudible, and leaned forward to wrap her arms around Julius from behind.
“Forget that selfish woman,” she murmured against his back.
“I already gave all my love to her,” Julius said quietly.
“And I am the one who received that love.”
“No. You are Cecil, but you are not *her*.”
“You’re making it harder on yourself again,” she said softly. “Don’t look back. Look at *me* now.”
“….”
“If you wake from this dream, I’ll be left here, alone in the cold darkness.”
“You’re just a devil,” Julius whispered. “And when you wake, you’ll know it too.”
“A dream that never ends is no different from reality,” Cecil said. “If Krail were here, would he say the same?”
Her arms tightened around him gently, while her empty, longing gaze remained fixed on him.
And still, she continued to whisper lovingly.
Things are Not Looking Good:
Yes, things are not looking good. As you know, translation requires a lot of time and energy. I translate, edit and proofread the chapters on my own. I will be honest here, I started translating as a hobby, then it evolved to a hope of earning a living by doing something I enjoy.
However, I suffered a chain of misfortunes during and after the pandemic, and earnings from FSM and RTV helped me a lot. It became a significant part of my life. As long as my monthly income bordered around $200, I could make the time to translate in the middle of other works. Then RTV ended, and the earning decreased. Now, it has decreased to around $90-$100. And with PETTV nearing completion, that would decrease even more. A*dsence gets me about $ 0.50 per day, and you can’t get the payment until it reaches $100, so I can’t depend on that either.
It wouldn’t be an issue in normal circumstances, but it matters a lot to me since I am still dealing with a lot of financial troubles. I am currently looking for a job, and will have to invest my time and energy in it once I get it.
Long story short, if you enjoy reading this novel, support the translation if you can, either by becoming a Patron in Patreon, or sponsoring chapters at BuymeaCoffee. You can also take some time to watch a*ds to increase the revenue on A*dsence. Grains of sand together can form a desert.
FSM supporters has been supporting me from the start no matter what, so I would continue to translate FSM as long as I am alive. But for the other projects, I now desperately need your support so that I can spend the time and energy to serve them to you all. That’s all. Thank you.