“That’s right, it’s me!” The man waved his hand, turning the stone sword in his grasp into dust, then grinned at me.
I was still tense. This guy had only met me once before, and his personality was downright bizarre. I couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t suddenly attack me and Mei’er.
Swallowing hard, I forced myself to stay calm and asked, “Who the hell are you?”
“Me?” He paused, then chuckled. “Don’t worry about who I am. Just know I mean you no harm!”
Muttering to himself, he added, “Didn’t expect that idiot to take on another good disciple… Tsk, and just as handsome as me. Not bad, not bad!”
Then, his expression turned serious as he looked at me. “Little brother, you and this little fox are about to face a calamity. Be careful.”
My heart lurched.
This swordsman had figured out my connection with Mei’er just by glancing at me back in the warehouse. If he was warning me now, something bad was definitely coming.
When I didn’t respond, he continued, “Keep it up, kid. And when you finally dual-cultivate with this little fox, let me know how it feels!” He patted my shoulder like some wise elder.
‘Report your sister! Should I film it and send it to you too?!’
But as soon as he turned away, he spun back, grabbed my hand, and said earnestly, “Brother, you’re too kind! Make sure it’s uncensored!”
“Holy sh!t! You can read my mind?!” I gaped at him.
He scratched his head awkwardly. “Ah, force of habit, force of habit! Though I only caught that last part clearly. Once you get wary, I can’t hear anything.”
“What exactly is this ‘calamity’ you mentioned?” I asked warily.
He clasped his hands together solemnly. “Amitabha. The heavens’ secrets must not be revealed—”
“Are you sure you’re doing that pose right?” My eyebrow twitched. ‘Dude’s clearly a Taoist, yet he’s pulling a Buddhist act? And spouting that ‘heavens’ secrets’ crap?!’
He blinked, then sighed. “Alright, no more games. Just be careful in the future.”
With that, his appearance shifted into an old man—complete with a Zhao Benshan-style hat, sunglasses, and a cane. He waved his hand, dispelling the barrier around us.
“Wait, master!” I called out, but he ignored me, shuffling toward a nearby girl instead.
This guy didn’t seem hostile. If he wanted me dead, it’d take no effort at all. Plus, he’d just warned me.
But then he started his act, speaking in a gravelly voice: “Young lady, this old man sees darkness upon your brow. Within a month, you shall suffer a bloody disaster!”
The girl laughed. “Old man, don’t joke around. I’m a college student—I don’t believe in superstitions! And I don’t have spare change for you.”
“No, no, no!” He waved his hand. “This old man never charges for divination. I only aid those destined for my guidance!”
“Free? Now that’s fun!” Her eyes lit up.
Adjusting his sunglasses, the fake old man grinned. “I shall bestow upon you a magical treasure to ward off this disaster!”
“A gift too?” She perked up even more.
He shoved something into her hands. “You’ll know how to use this.” Then, in a flash, he vanished.
“A… sanitary pad?!” The girl stared at it, her face reddening before she yelled, “You freak!”
‘What the hell? Is this guy actually insane? Then what about his warning for me and Mei’er—was that real?’
Suddenly, the girl turned toward us—and froze, her hands flying to her mouth.
That’s when I realized—‘Oh shit, Mei’er’s still in her demon form!’
“Is that…?” The girl wasn’t scared. Instead, she looked thrilled as she walked over.
I quickly stepped in front of Mei’er, shaking my head. “No, no!”
“Is that…?” She pointed at Mei’er, repeating herself.
“It’s really not—”
Before I could finish, she squealed, “You’re doing CosPlay, right?!”
“No!” ‘Wait—CosPlay?’ I immediately nodded. “Yes! CosPlay! Exactly!”
“Liar!” She smirked, then reached out and tugged Mei’er’s ears.
“Wow, your props are so realistic!”
“Y-Yeah…” I forced a laugh, but inside I was panicking. ‘That b*stard didn’t lift Mei’er’s paralysis!’
“And the tail! So fluffy, and warm! This girl’s adorable too—she’d win first place in a contest!” The girl grew more excited while I grew more desperate. ‘What do I do if Mei’er can’t move?!’
“Can I take a photo?” She pulled out her phone.
‘Oh no.’ Thinking fast, I pointed behind her. “Look! A UFO!”
She paused, then laughed. “Yeah right! UFOs are fake!” She raised her phone.
Gritting my teeth, I yelled, “Holy crap! Jay Ch0u!” (G: famous singer.)
“Jay Ch0u?! Where?!” She spun around eagerly.
Seizing the chance, I hoisted Mei’er over my shoulder and bolted.
‘I can’t believe “Jay Ch)u” worked! I’m a genius!’
“Hey! Where is he?!” she shouted after me.
‘How should I know? I don’t even know the guy!’ And sure enough, the mere mention of her idol turned her brain to mush…
I sprinted into an alley, finally setting Mei’er down as I gasped for breath. It wasn’t exhaustion—just sheer panic. Mei’er’s identity had almost been exposed. ‘Thank God for CosPlay being a thing…’
“Ahem… Sorry about that, bro…”
My nerves spiked again. I turned—‘Oh, come on!’ It was the fake old man.
Clearing his throat, he scratched his head. “Got too caught up flirting and forgot to undo the little fox’s seal.” With a finger flick, Mei’er was freed.
Though paralyzed earlier, Mei’er had been fully aware. Now back to normal, she quickly retracted her fox ears and tail.
“Gotta go save more lovelorn maidens now. Later!” He vanished—only for his voice to echo moments later:
“Infinite Heavenly Lord! Young lady, this old monk sees darkness upon your brow. Within a month, you shall suffer a bloody disaster!”
‘What the—Taoist or Buddhist?! And for fuck’s sake, change your d*mn line!’