“But that day is not today. No, it shouldn’t be today. Cain, you know that too, don’t you? What I said back then wasn’t a plea for you to save me right now—it was a promise for the distant future.”
“…..”
“It’s not time yet. I’m not ready for anything. You know very well that in this place, acting on emotions alone solves nothing. So, at this moment, there’s nothing you can do, Cain.”
There was only resignation in Sarah’s voice, a weary acceptance of everything surrounding her.
“…Sarah.”
Without realizing it, I took a step toward her. As I moved closer, I saw her body flinch and tremble.
“…Then what about you?”
“…Huh?”
“Yes, Sarah, I agree with you. You’ve always been smart, and I’ve never known you to be wrong. So this time, too, you’re probably right. But what will become of you in this moment?”
“…..”
“Is seducing a man you don’t want, forcing yourself into a relationship you despise, standing there and flirting with someone you loathe—are these truly the best choices available to you right now? Is this really the life you wanted?”
For the first time, Sarah’s composed, emotionless mask cracked. A stunned expression flickered across her face. Her bare emotions, stripped of pretense, were laid bare—resignation and pain.
“…Then what should I do? Tell me, what can I possibly do? All he has is the prestige of his family, and I… I have nothing. What can a powerless girl with nothing of her own do?”
As Sarah raised her voice, I took another step closer. That night, just like on the terrace before, the distance between us lost all meaning. I could feel the warmth of her body, the uneven rhythm of her breath, and the faint glimmer of defiance in her eyes, barely concealing the emotions she was trying so hard to suppress.
She was such a fool. Pretending to be so clever, so proud, yet unable to see the simplest answer right in front of her.
…So, let me say it for her. The words she needed to speak—I would say them in her place.
“Leave.”
“…What?”
“I want you to leave. To hell with temptation, concubinage, and all of that nonsense. Forget about it. Just do what you truly want to do. Because I’ll help you.”
“…Cain, you’re insane. Or are you just spewing nonsense because none of this concerns you?”
Sarah’s voice was sharp, but her eyes, though cold, wavered.
“Do you even understand what you’re saying? You’re talking about turning Count Cernard into your enemy without any plan. Do you have any idea how many hounds he has watching me? You don’t know how meticulous and ruthless they are. Beyond that, they—”
“So what?”
For a moment, Sarah’s words faltered.
Did she think I was being foolish for speaking so recklessly?
Or was she worried that I, despite my confidence, was simply being reckless?
I couldn’t tell what was on her mind.
“…Do you understand what I’m telling you? There’s no point in fighting them now. It’s reckless. It’s stupid. Even if things are painful now, if I just endure—if I hold on somehow—an opportunity will come one day—”
“You’re the fool, Sarah.”
I cut her off, meeting her gaze directly.
“Are you going to throw away the present, waiting for some uncertain opportunity in the future? Are you never going to take a risk? Is the freedom you longed for really so cheap that you expect it to come without any cost?”
“…You.”
“I don’t know about anything else. But I know I hate seeing you in the arms of a man you don’t love. I didn’t let go of you just to stand by and watch you like this.”
“So stop being stubborn and stand up. The Sarah I know isn’t someone who breaks down so easily.”
“…Cain.”
At my words, the blankness in Sarah’s expression slowly faded. For a moment, she cast her gaze into the distance, then closed her eyes gently and whispered.
“…Why?”
“Why are you doing this for me? Like you said, we have nothing to do with each other anymore…”
Hearing the tremble in her voice, I let out a wry smile.
“Well… I don’t really know.”
“…Is it because you still have feelings for me?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
It wasn’t lingering attachment. After everything that had happened with Bianca, I had lost many memories. And now, standing here, facing Sarah, I knew for certain—the emotions I once had for her were gone.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t remember her, like someone suffering from amnesia. But the feelings I had held for her in the past no longer resonated within me. It was as if I had read about them in a history book, detached and distant, as though I had once loved her, but the sentiment itself was no longer real.
…However, there was something I did understand. Something even someone like me, devoid of those past emotions, could grasp.
This was wrong.
If I had never known anything about her situation, perhaps I could have remained indifferent. But Sarah had once asked me to help her. And because she had, I couldn’t turn my back on her now.
More than anything, I hated the way she looked at the world with dead eyes.
“…But if you openly support me like this, what will happen between the Duke of Estel and Count Cernard…?”
“That’s not your concern.”
I shook my head lightly.
“This isn’t about dukes or counts. This is just Cain von Estel.”
I looked straight at Sarah’s face, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
“…Trying to save a woman named Sarah Cernard.”
In the end, the tears she had been holding back spilled down her cheeks.
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