“Uh… did your senior sister hit men0pause?” I asked Yang Fan, my eyelid twitching slightly.
Yang Fan gave a dry laugh. “Well… actually, this is my senior sister’s true nature. You’ll get used to it!”
Looking at the crowd gathered at the entrance of the Martial Arts Club, there were really a lot of people.
At a glance, all I saw were miniskirts and long, slender stocking-clad legs.
Ahem… no, it was a sea of dark-haired heads.
“Ah! Look, it’s Xia Tian! It’s Xia Tian!” Some girl let out a shriek, and instantly the whole crowd turned around.
“Wow! It really is Xia Tian! He looks much better than in the videos!”
“Holy crap! It’s really Brother Tian! Guys, let’s go ask Brother Tian to take us as disciples!”
“Get lost, you f*cking pervs! Xia Tian is ours!”
D*mn! What the hell is this situation.
“Uh, should we make a run for it?” Yang Fan swallowed hard and looked at me.
Before the words were even out, I was already moving. I leaped up from my spot, did some aerial spin—who knows how many degrees—and vaulted right over the crowd.
After landing, I let out a sigh of relief and said, “Of course we’re making a run for it!”
Huh? Where’s Yang Fan?
“X-Xia… Tian, s-save… me!” Yang Fan’s weak voice suddenly came through. I turned to look and d*mn! Is it necessary to be this exaggerated?!
I saw Yang Fan, sprawled on the ground, crawling bit by bit trying to get out, but it seemed he couldn’t move anymore, and was waving his hand at me.
Without another word, I quickly dragged Yang Fan out from the crowd. If this kept up, he’d end up back in the hospital.
“You… you okay?” Yang Fan’s current state looked rather comical—his hair was a mess, the shirt on his upper body was torn by who-knows-who, and he was covered in dust.
Before Yang Fan could speak, Yang Xue ran over and grabbed me. “Xia Tian, you’re here. Come in, quick!” As she spoke, she pulled me into the Martial Arts Club.
As soon as we got in, she locked the door. The moment it was locked, we heard banging on the door, accompanied by Yang Fan’s anxious voice: “Senior Sister, don’t lock the door! I’m still out here!”
Hearing this, Yang Xue quickly opened the door to let Yang Fan in, but the students had already reacted and were all charging towards the entrance.
Seeing this, Yang Xue hurriedly closed the door.
The moment the door shut, “smack smack smack”—the sounds of people pounding on it filled the air.
It’s a good thing they didn’t know where I lived, or else Sister Lin and Tang Shuyao would probably never let me hear the end of it.
It took a long time for that crowd to gradually disperse. Yang Xue looked as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
I looked at Yang Xue somewhat puzzled and said, “Senior, with so many people signing up now, why aren’t you accepting them?”
Before Yang Xue could answer, Yang Fan, who was nearby, said, “I told Senior Sister to accept them all. That way, the club fees would definitely be huge!” This guy actually started drooling as he spoke. Damn! How much does he love money?
“These people signing up now, their goal isn’t really to learn martial arts; they’re here to see you, Xia Tian. Although our Martial Arts Club is down on its luck, we can’t just accept anyone!” Yang Xue sighed somewhat helplessly. “Besides, our current clubhouse isn’t big enough; it can’t hold that many people…”
After hearing Yang Xue’s words, I felt that the mix of good and bad wasn’t the main reason; the key issue was the clubhouse.
The Martial Arts Club wasn’t a large club to begin with, and now with this sudden influx of people, this small room really couldn’t accommodate them easily.
“Alright! Let’s not talk about this today!” Yang Xue clapped her hands, lightening the mood, then looked at Yang Fan and said, “The things I asked you to buy, where are they?”
Yang Fan was stunned upon hearing this, patted himself down, and exclaimed, “I accidentally lost them earlier!”
“What?!” Yang Xue was taken aback for a moment, then said with a smile, “Good thing I already bought the ingredients yesterday. Looks like this young lady is going to show off her skills today!”
Upon hearing this, Yang Fan’s face instantly turned pale. He quickly said, “Senior Sister, you’re not joking, are you?”
“Not many people get to have this young lady personally cook for them! Consider yourself lucky today!” Yang Xue patted my shoulder, ignored Yang Fan, and headed straight for the kitchen.
Seeing this, Yang Fan quickly pulled me towards the door, whispering as we went, “Let’s go! If we wait for Senior Sister to finish cooking, we’ll all die!”
“Ah?” I was stunned for a moment, but soon understood what Yang Fan meant. It seemed Yang Xue’s cooking wasn’t great either—maybe even on par with Sister Lin’s!
If that were really the case, it’d definitely be better to leave early!
Just as I was about to escape with Yang Fan, Yang Xue’s voice suddenly came through: “Xiao Fan, come help your senior sister chop the vegetables!”
Hearing this, Yang Fan looked like he was about to cry. He said to me, “Sorry, Xia Tian, I’ve doomed you. If there is an afterlife, I will surely find you to atone!”
Why did it feel like, “The wind blows, the river is cold; the brave man leaves, never to return”? Could Yang Xue’s cooking really be lethal enough to kill?
Yang Fan walked towards the kitchen like a zombie, then suddenly seemed to realize he was still holding something. He looked down; it was the roast duck from earlier.
“Brother Fan, I still have this roast duck. Worst case, we can just eat this!” I quickly said to Yang Fan.
Yang Fan was stunned for a moment. When he saw the roast duck in my hand, a smile appeared on his face, but why was he still crying? Was this the so-called “tears of joy”?
I sat alone on a stool, playing on my phone, while Yang Fan and Yang Xue were busy cooking in the kitchen.
From time to time, a few screams of agony came from the kitchen, sending chills down my spine. Were we really just going to eat the roast duck later?
Before long, Yang Fan and Yang Xue emerged from the kitchen, each holding a plate, and started serving the dishes one by one.
Soon, all the dishes were served. But from the looks of it, they didn’t seem as terrifying as Yang Fan had made them out to be.
“Brother Fan, what happened to your hand?” I suddenly noticed that all five fingers of Yang Fan’s right hand were bandaged with white tape.
Just as Yang Fan was about to answer, Yang Xue said, “It’s nothing. I just accidentally broke his nails, that’s all!”
“Nails? Just that?! Your nails bleed when they break! And it’s all five fingers!” Yang Fan roared at Yang Xue.
Yang Xue ignored him, smiled at me, and said, “Xia Tian, eat! Don’t mind him.”
“Okay, I’ll eat now!” I said with a dry laugh, then pointed at a plate of black fungus and said, “This stir-fried black fungus looks pretty good! Let me try it!”
Even if Yang Xue’s cooking was bad, it was the thought that counted. I’d show some support! Besides, I refused to believe the food could actually be lethal.
Just as I picked up my chopsticks, I heard Mei Xue say, “Xia Tian, you sure love joking with your senior! This is stir-fried cabbage! It’s just got a bit too much soy sauce, no need to call it black fungus. Come on, try it and see how it tastes!”
Holy sh*t! You’ve gotta be kidding me! This thing, black as charcoal, is actually cabbage! This is beyond ridiculous! I take back what I said earlier; this food really might be lethal!
“I… I don’t really like cabbage! I’ll just have the roast duck!” As I spoke, I rolled up some roast duck and was about to put it in my mouth.
But Yang Xue stopped me: “It’s not good for young people to eat too much meat. You should eat more vegetables!” Seeing that I wasn’t responding, Yang Xue turned to Yang Fan and said, “Xiao Fan, you try it first. See if your senior sister’s cooking has improved!”
“Ah?” Yang Fan’s face was full of resistance.
Yang Xue gritted her teeth and said, word by word, “Are! You! Going! To! Eat! Or! Not!”
“I’ll eat, I’ll eat!” Yang Fan gave a dry laugh, picked up a piece of the black fungus—no, the cabbage—and put it in his mouth.
The moment the food entered his mouth, Yang Fan started shoveling large mouthfuls of rice. Now I knew what a true brave man was! If I could, I would heroically say to Yang Fan, “Brave man, bottoms up to this bowl of hot sh*t!”
“Not bad, right?” Yang Xue asked, looking at Yang Fan.
Tears streaming from his eyes, Yang Fan nodded.
“Why are you crying?” Yang Xue asked, puzzled upon seeing Yang Fan’s tears. But before Yang Fan could answer, she smiled and said, “It must be because your senior sister’s cooking is just too delicious, right? Ah, there’s no need to be so emotional!”
Yang Fan shuddered, pointed at his mouth, then pointed towards the bathroom.
Yang Xue looked at Yang Fan, confused, and asked, “What do you mean?” Suddenly, as if she had an epiphany, she frowned: “Don’t tell me you want to…”
“What he means is, the senior’s cooking is so delicious he ate too fast and got choked, so he wants to go drink some water. Right!” After I said this, I winked at Yang Fan, who quickly nodded in agreement.
Only then did Yang Xue laugh and say magnanimously, “You and your greed! Alright, go ahead. But eat slower later!”
Yang Fan, as if granted amnesty, rushed to the bathroom. But now it was my turn to suffer.
Yang Xue smiled at me and said, “See how happily Xiao Fan ate? You should eat more too, Xia Tian.”
“O-okay…” I felt a wave of deathly aura spreading through my whole body, but I couldn’t refuse Yang Xue, so I had to brace myself, pick up my chopsticks, and reach for those dishes.
But right then, my phone suddenly rang.
I quickly put down my chopsticks, took out my phone, and saw it was Sister Lin. For the first time, I felt Sister Lin was so adorable!
“Senior, I need to take this call!” I was thrilled inside. Did this count as a narrow escape from death?
But before I could even feel happy, Sister Lin’s words made me freeze on the spot: “What?! You said someone is trying to kidnap Mei’er?!”