Chapter 23: Let’s Eat Chicken

“What did you just say you wanted to eat?” Mei’er looked at me with a puzzled expression. She hadn’t noticed my attention was fixed on her mounds. 

I snapped out of it and awkwardly coughed twice, “Oh, it’s nothing, really. You must be hungry; I’ll go make something for you to eat.”

I stood up abruptly. After taking a few steps, a thought struck me, and I turned back to Mei’er, asking, “Mei’er, aren’t you a fox demon? Haven’t you reached that higher realm? Why would you still feel hungry?”

Mei’er shook her head in confusion, “I don’t know either. I woke up feeling extremely hungry, and since you weren’t here, I went out to find something to eat, but couldn’t find anything…”

“What do you want to eat then?” I smiled at Mei’er’s charming demeanor and asked. 

Mei’er heard me and joyfully replied, “I want… to eat chicken!” 

I nearly collapsed to the ground upon hearing this. What in the world… eating chicken…am I just too corrupted? (G: 鸡 (jī) means chicken; it’s also a slang for pr0st!tute.)

But Mei’er’s words were a bit too suggestive, weren’t they? Has she considered that I’m a man, and a pure-hearted virgin at that? Her words ignited a burning desire in me.

I chuckled awkwardly to ease the tension, “But it’s already evening. Where can I get… chicken for you?” 

What I really wanted to say was, [Mei’er, I have one right here. Do you want it?] 

Ugh! What am I even thinking? I am Xia Tian, a gentleman, you know!

“But Mei’er is really hungry…” Mei’er looked crestfallen, and seeing her like that tugged at my heart. 

Helplessly, I said, “Alright, I’ll go to the supermarket. Packaged roast chicken isn’t that great, but you’ll have to make do for now.”

Upon hearing my words, Mei’er hugged me happily, “Mei’er knew it, Xia Tian is the best!”

I felt a sense of happiness, almost suffocating, but of course, happiness wouldn’t suffocate me. What suffocated me was… Mei’er’s twin peaks pressing against me uncomfortably.

Xia Tian’s desires were stirring again, but I absolutely couldn’t let them take over. I gently pushed Mei’er away and held her hand, “Let’s go. You can’t leave my side. We’ll go together.”

Mei’er nodded happily and skipped alongside me, “Hurry up, Xia Tian!” 

Her current demeanor was like that of a little girl, nothing like a several hundred-year-old fox demon.

As we stepped out, I hailed a taxi. It seemed familiar though… Could it be that chubby guy again?

“Hehe, young man, we meet again!” The driver poked his head out, smiling broadly at me. 

My face instantly soured… Not him again! Is he the only taxi driver around here?

I forced a smile, feeling awkward, “Uh, yeah, we meet again…”

The driver’s smile faded upon noticing Mei’er beside me and he froze, before regaining his composure after a while. He looked at me and said, “Young man, it’s not good to play both fields!”

“Uncle, when did I play both fields? Please don’t jump to conclusions!” I retorted, annoyed, “You and Sister Lin would make a perfect match!”

“Heh! We’re both experienced, no need to lie to me! Tell me, weren’t you at the hospital just now to accompany your girlfriend for an ab0rtion?” The chubby driver adopted an air of superiority. I really wanted to punch him right then and there! Punching him wouldn’t be enough to relieve my anger!

“This is my girlfriend, and I went to the hospital to see a friend!” I hugged Mei’er tightly, fuming!

Who knew Mei’er would suddenly interject, “Xia Tian… Mei’er isn’t something you can eat…” 

I could only chuckle awkwardly. What is she trying to imply?

“I must have misunderstood, sorry, young man!” The chubby driver seemed tactful, continuing, “Your girlfriend is quite pretty, much prettier than that actress, Cang Laoshi!”

Damn it! Is he praising or insulting people?

“Um… brother…” The chubby guy suddenly started rubbing his hands, looking lecherous. I shivered, goosebumps rising, and even Mei’er frowned.

I was about to stop him when he suddenly changed the subject smoothly, “How old is that ‘Sister Lin’ you mentioned? Can you introduce me?”

He lowered his head, looking embarrassed, “Don’t judge me by my age; I still haven’t married… yet…”

Damn it! Uncle, can you not be so creepy? Although I find Sister Lin’s personality a bit hard to handle, I can tolerate her. But this uncle is truly unbearable; just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable! Sister Lin isn’t that old, just a few years older than me, still in university. She manages her aunt’s property while her aunt and uncle are on their honeymoon. They’ve been married for decades and are still honeymooning; talk about being open-minded! So, they’ve left everything to Sister Lin to handle.

I casually mentioned it, not expecting this uncle to latch onto it. I suddenly remembered a phrase, “eccentric,” wondering if it could describe this uncle or perhaps add “extraordinary”?

“Um, uncle, I just remembered something else to do, so we won’t take this ride!” With that, I grabbed Mei’er’s hand and ran off. Goodbye, uncle, and good riddance!

“Xia Tian, don’t run so fast!” I dragged Mei’er along as we dashed away, quickly disappearing from that extraordinary uncle’s sight. Mei’er complained as she ran.

Actually, I didn’t want to run so fast, but those two… were bouncing so much, and I wanted to look a little longer. After tearing my gaze away from those swaying twin peaks, I released Mei’er’s hand and said, “Sorry… I was in a rush…”

Suddenly, a good excuse came to mind, “You’re hungry, right? I want to get you that roast chicken quickly…”

“Yeah, Mei’er is really hungry! Xia Tian, let’s hurry!” Mei’er grabbed my hand again, urging me.

“Alright, let’s go quickly!” 

With that, Mei’er gazed around and said to me, “Where’s the supermarket? I’ll lead the way, and we’ll get there faster.”

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Check out my other projects: Flower Stealing Master, Rehabilitating the Villainess, Pushover Extra Trains the Villainesses, I Picked Up an Amnesiac Witch, and My Summons Are Special.

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